Friday, November 9, 2018

Cookies



I keep getting reminders from Google that  I am responsible for warning you folks out in Europe about cookies that may be collected by my blog. Well, I have not received any cookies from Europe, though I have heard something about you not knowing what cookies are,because you call them biscuits.

I'm not really fluent in Cyber Speak. I do know how to bake cookies.



These are oatmeal and chocolate chip cookies. I don't know how to get them to you, but if Google says so, the technology must exist, so if you know how to accept cookies through the computer, then go for t.

Saturday, August 25, 2018

More Middled Aged Moments




Again, if you clicked here looking for content about the Middle Ages, you are in the wrong blog. You have to grow up a little before you are ready for this blog. When you start walking into a room  and forget why, and when your back goes out more often than you do, then you might be living in the middle ages.


I had a middle muddled moment while doing physiotherapy stretches just now. I contemplated turning on the TV to keep me company while I work out, and then I thought, no --that might be distracting. I am trying to count to 20 and that requires all of my concentrational skills.

When did I get this old?


These days, I have to change my glasses every time I sit down at the computer. My eye doctor said it was time for trifocals! Am I really that old? I'm still not so keen on bifocals. When I watch TV in bed, I have to get my pillows just right so my head is at the right angle to see the TV through the top part of my glasses. So I asked the doctor if I could get a second pair of glasses instead of trifocals. He said that he has done that for several people and most of them come back to say they are tired of changing glasses all the time.

Oy! This getting old stuff is getting old. Did I already say that? Sorry, I had the wrong glasses on, now I see it.

Sunday, July 29, 2018

People in the Middle Ages




You know that you are hitting the Middle Ages . . .
 . . .when you start laughing at jokes like this, instead of rolling your eyes.


 If you clicked on this post because you thought it would be about  medieval fairs, 
I am sorry, but you are in the wrong blog.
Kindly move along. You don't want to know this stuff yet.
(Your time is coming soon enough.)

Middle age kinda sneaks up on you, doesn't it?
Like when you realize that people your age are becoming grandparents.
Grandparents used to be old;
But now they are middle aged, just like you!

If your middle starts to muddle,
 And you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror when you get out of the shower.
 and what you see frightens you so much
that you run the hot water until the mirror gets fogged up properly.
You may be hitting middle age.

You know that you are hitting middle age
When you do the math and realize that your age times two equals more than 100.
If you had to use a calculator to do that math, you are probably not middle aged.
You are either a millennial, or a 5-year-old prodigy at reading but not math.

If you had to use a calculator to figure out how old you are, 
you might be hitting middle age.


You know you are hitting middle age
When you realize that you went from being:
 a wanna beto a has been,Without ever just

... being....


If you suspect that you might be Middle Aged,

And have not yet been what you wanted to be; 

You might still have time! 

I always wanted a career in a medical field, 

And now I am a full time patient!

(It's not the most lucrative medical field, But hey -- life is about more than money, right?)

(plus that's just a joke. I wanted to be a teacher, and I got to be one, just not for as long as I had planned) 


(And by the way, if you can read this, then maybe you are not middle aged yet after all!)













Thursday, June 14, 2018

A Canadian Siri, Eh?





Siri the virtual assistant from Apple iphones comes with a selection of English accents: American, Australian, and British. Glaringly missing from that list is a Canadian accent. I thought it might be fun to imagine what a Canadian Siri might have to say. So here goes:

Siri: Good Day, eh! What can I do you for?
Me: Can you please tell me a Newfie joke?
Siri: Oh no, so sorry! I am not programmed to make jokes that could offend anyone.
Me: I'm so sorry I asked. How about some Canadian music?
Siri: I could play some Anne  Murray, or Rita Macneil for ya.
Me Anne Murray, please.
Siri: Okay, and you have yourself a nice day,eh?
Me: Thank you!
Siri: No problem.


Okay, so it isn't exactly comedy, but it's polite.

Thursday, May 3, 2018

Head Start to Heaven



This posting is more sombre than the material I usually post here. I wrote this poem for my Mom for Mother's Day a few years ago. She passed away July 27, 2007 at the far too young age of 61. 





Head Start to Heaven

There is an empty place at the table

Holidays just aren’t the same without you.
We thought you’d be here for this golden year
But you needed a head start to Heaven.



There is much we still wanted you here for
And so much you still wanted to do.
We don’t understand how this fits in God’s plan
Why you needed a head start to Heaven.


Was there an empty seat at God’s table?

Did He need you there more than here?
I guess we’ll just wait to know until our turn to go
Why you needed a head start to Heaven.



With all my love;
Karen



Amen. My Father joined Mom in Heaven on July 28, 2015 at the age of 70. We miss both of you. Save us a seat at the table for the Wedding Supper of the Lamb.



Tuesday, April 3, 2018

Really?





On those TV ads for seniors' dating sites; the whole point of the site is find someone your own age. At the end of the commercial there is a voice over: "Must be 18+ to apply".
Really?
Outta my way! I'm going to the computer room to find me a young'un! Anybody know how to work those computers? How do ya get that young'un outta the computer? I need a nice young man to scrape my bunions!






Warning label from the pharmacist on a bottle of sleeping pills: "MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS. Use caution when driving or using dangerous equipment.
Really?
Who are these people who take sleeping pills, and then drive to work on a construction site? 






The labels on those non-dairy coffee whiteners say they contain "edible oil" products.
Really?
If the company that makes them feels the need to tell me that their product is edible . . .I am just glad that I take my coffee black. 


Wednesday, March 28, 2018

My Back Hurts




I've been having a lot of back pain lately. Added to everything that already hurts from Parkinson's, fibromyalgia, and arthritis, having a muscle spasm in my back is just like the last nail in the coffin some days.

My back wasn't too bad this morning, but then I decided to shower. I've  been so tired lately that I get exhausted just running the water. 

 I want to get back into the habit of doing my physiotherapy exercises in the shower, so after I rinsed off  I put the plug the in tub and let the tub fill while I did my standing exercises, and then I did my sitting exercises in warm water. I wasn't going anywhere this morning, so I had time to turn on the jets for a tubby time. 

While I was just sitting in the tub, I decided to clean the shampoo caddy. My daughter does most of my cleaning, but I said I would clean my bathroom. My tub is so big that you pretty much have to get in it to clean so it just makes sense for me to do it since I am in there anyway.

So while I was at it, I thought I might as well clean all of the shampoo ledges, and while I had the baking soda out, I might as well clean all of the tub surround, and then I thought of doing the tub jet cleaner system, which needs to go in warm water. I hadn't used conditioner in my hair yet, and that would make the water foam too much, so I got out of my tub, poured the jet cleaner stuff in, and turned on the jets for a half hour. In the meantime I went to the shower in the other bathroom to put my conditioner in, and while I was there I cleaned my tub mat. Then I went back to my bathroom to wipe the cleaner residue down and refill the tub with cold water to rinse. 

Then I got dressed, and now my back hurts again. Getting showered and dressed is sure a lot of work.