Tuesday, October 3, 2017

Write by the Numbers



My rant for the day is brought to you by the numbers 58 or 59, and 95; and by the letter Q.

Digits are everywhere! But although I routinely scored in the 99th percentile in the Canadian Tests of Basic Skills when I was in grade school, I don't belong in this digital world. Just like when I finally found the film for my photographic memory, everyone else had gone digital. Figures.

Like, how can I have 95 followers on Instagram, when I have never signed up? Did someone sign up on my behalf? That's scary! A leader with no followers is just a guy out taking a walk, but 95 followers with no leader? That would be anarchy. I have nothing against Instagram, I am just so busy wasting time on Facebook and Twitter, I already have e-mail and g-mail, plus I have three blogs on Blogspot and one on Wordpress, and I am still pretending that I am working on my next book, when my brain turns into three-day-old oatmeal mush heated up in the microwave without any raisins ... so I am diligently ignoring Instagram and Pinterest like anything with a pentagram, which is nonsense I just made up.

And what's up with my Facebook page? For weeks now, Facebook has been sending me messages informing me that the 59 people who like Karen Lucille Gross's facebook page haven't heard from me in a while ... Now today I got one that says that 58 people who like Karen Lucille Gross's facebook page haven't heard from you in a while ... What's the deal with that? Did someone take back their "like"? Has one of you given up on ever hearing from me?

The letter Q is a bonus - take for it whatever you want. Just don't forget to bring a U for every Q that you take.